Share and Finish That Milk

Siamese Dream is part of why I am this person

2009-04-09T16:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I returned home from having lunch with my mother after class and decided it had been far too long since I had listened to the Smashing Pumpkins. I was exhausted so I put in Siamese Dream and layed on my bed. OHMYGODIFORGOTHOWMUCHTHATALBUMRULES!!!!!!! It reminded me of everything that was was enjoyable about being 15 as well as everything that was horrible about it. It was the album that I listened to when my parents split up in June after my freshmen year of high school. "Today" was the first song that I ever learned to play on guitar. I wanted to be in a band like that. I would lay on my bed, the same one I still have, and listen to it while falling asleep after school, just like yesterday. It is the kind of nostalgia that books are based on and screenplays written for. I am in such a good mood.
My first boyfriend had this poster in his bedroom. I always loved it. I wonder if he ever thinks about that.

I met some people

2009-03-02T19:19:00.000-08:00

I am house sitting this week which entails making sure no burglars steal this ibook I'm writing on as well as taking care of one crazy dog, one normal dog, and a cat that seems to reflect all my emotions. Sometimes she growls for no reason and other times she just wants to cuddle. Usually she just wants to sleep on some comfy pillow in the sun. Her and I are very similar. Anyway, today I was going to take the dogs out to throw a ball for the crazy dog (Gertrude) who is obsessed with orange, rubber, balls. I wore the man's boots who lives here because they were by the door. I didn't bring my phone outside, nor my keys, nor mittens, nor tampons, nor food, all of which I realized I needed promptly when I shut the door and remembered that the handle was locked. "Oh fuck," I said, then repeated for a good ten minutes while I ran around praying to God that one window was left unlocked or that I had left the front door open. After realizing quickly that this was useless, I went across the street to Jeff and Jeff's house (the nice neighbors that Brian and Jeneen had told me about). They were very hospitable. One of the Jeff's offered to drive me to St. Paul where my friend, Alec, who is house sitting with me and has the other key, was in class until 9 (it was about 5:30 at this time). The other Jeff stayed there and played with the dogs so they didn't freeze to death outside. They had an entire wall full of records, literally. I've never seen so many records that weren't in a store. There was also amazing art everywhere. I think I'll make them some banana bread.

Kate Bush is fucking AWESOME

2009-02-27T18:23:00.001-08:00

Enough said.

Art Shanty Project Part I

2009-01-30T21:06:00.000-08:00

So I went to the Art Shanty Project 2 Sundays in a row. Once with Alex Pennaz and once with my mom. I still have some film left in my camera so I have yet to get my pictures developed. When I do there will be a follow up blog to this one. However, my friend, Sam, is part of group that built the Snapshot Shanty which is where you go and get your picture taken and they put in on their blog. I stole some pictures and put them on my blog. The internet really is a wonderful thing.

Here is a picture of my mom and I. We are not facing each other to be arty, but because my mom blinks even if there isn't a flash because of the camera click sound. She gets nervous. Sometimes I do too. We have the same nose, look.

This is my friend Eileen and her band, "The Ex-lovers." I have not heard their music yet, but Eileen is pretty cool so I have high hopes. She's the beauty in the front.

This is a band called the Brass Messengers. They were by far my favorite thing at the ASP. They're playing a show at the Cedar on February 13th which I plan to attend.

Why I play guitar

2008-12-28T16:41:00.000-08:00

Today I was learning how to play It Ain't Me Babe by Bob Dylan. There are kind of a lot of chord changes so it's taking a lot of practice. I think I should have it down in a week it I play it every day. I feel disheartened sometimes because I want to be better. I suppose the only way to do that is to keep playing. There are two things that stick out clearly in my head for why I can never give up playing guitar now that I have begun. The first is a line in Forest Gump, which has been my favorite line since I was about 7 and saw the movie for the first time. It is when Jenny plays Blowing In The Wind in that strip club and says, "I wanna be a folk singer, just like Joan Baez." The second reason is Bob Dylan. Not the man himself, because I could never expect to match the kind of lyrical genius that he is. My guitar teacher told me that Bob Dylan always hated his own voice. He couldn't stand the way it sounded. Even so, he has been on a stage somewhere singing probably every week for fifty years. Not only that, but he is probably one of the most respected musicians in the world. So here is a link to a video (since I'm a troglodite and don't know how to just put it on here) for your enjoyment to illustrate why I must keep playing guitar. Also, those girls are fucking crazy and have a lot of endurance to follow a car that long. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImpKzFXO1WI

Some new shit

2008-12-27T19:54:00.000-08:00

My goal over midwinter makeout break (as Amalia and I have decided to call winter break. Just plain winter break doesn't sound as fun) has been to make a lot of changes because I perpetually feel in a rut. So far, things don't feel so different. I got some new cds and a crock pot. Maybe that crock pot will make some sort of difference. I think I need something more substantial though. Ok, here is what I will do: A: Put down Harry Potter and read a book that leaves me contemplating my life or existance and not contemplating how sweet it would be to go to Diagon Alley or live in Hagrid's hut. B: get rid of a bunch of shit because clutter always makes me feel really crazy. And of course, as the aforementioned name states: Make out in the midwinter because it's cold and why not? It's the 21st century. This is a picture illustrating that my cat is still fat, perhaps she needs to make some changes too. At least she knows what she wants, that is much more than I can say on a daily basis.

Wow

2008-12-17T12:05:00.001-08:00

Here are some roommates seeing who is strongest. It's probably Hunter. Alex might be a close second, it is probably not Adam. We are all so proud of you three.

archy and mehitabel

2008-12-14T14:11:00.000-08:00

This is a poem called 'the lesson of the moth' by Don Marquis. I wanted to share it with all of you out there because it feels relevant to my thought process lately. Archy (the writer) is a cockroach who writes for a paper but since he's a cockroach he can't use more than one key on the typewriter at a time so there is no puncuation. It helps me, the utter grammer and English language snob/nerd, to loosen up when I take anything too seriously.

i was talking to a moth
the other evening
he was trying to break into an electric light bulb
and fry himself on the wires

why do you fellows
pull this stunt i asked him
because it is the conventional
thing for moths or why
if that had been an uncovered
candle instead of an electric
light bulb you would
now be a small unsightly cinder
have you no sense

plenty of it he answered
but at times we get tired
of using it
we get bored with the routine
and crave beauty
and excitement
fire is beautiful
and we know that if we get
too close it will kill us
but what does that matter
it is better to be happy
for a moment
and be burned up with beauty
than to live a long time
and be bored all the while
so we wad all our life up
into one little roll
that is what life is for
it is better to be a part of beauty
for one instant and then cease to
exist than to exist forever
and never be a part of beauty
our attitude toward life
is come easy go easy
we are like human beings
used to be before they became
too civilized to enjoy themselves

and before i could argue him
out of his philosophy
he went and immolated himself
on a patent cigar lighter
i do not agree with him
myself i would rather have
half the happines and twice
the longevity

but at the same time i wish
there was something i wanted
as badly as he wanted to fry himself

Poinsettias can't live without dirt and neither can I

2008-11-23T20:55:00.000-08:00

I found a former ant colony ant colony in a crack in my window sill. It's kind of like realizing there is a little hole in a rock wall, picking at it a little bit, and discovering a catacomb. However, that would probably be way cooler than these lame dead ants.

Do you ever think about how important dirt is? I like to refer to it as soil because people respect soil a lot more than dirt. Without soil, we would not have any food and poinsettias wouldn't exist. I know this because I was given a poinsettia flower and put it in water, but it died after one day. I wonder if this is a metaphor.

It's my birthday tomorrow. I will be 22. I don't think that 22 is any special sort of age, do you? I wish I were more excited and that I wanted a party or something, but I really just don't. If you would like to get me a birthday present, I would like a waffle iron or some frequent flyer miles. Or you could do all of my homework for the rest of the semester. Except guitar, I like that. I apologize for the stream of conciousness. Props to Rene Descartes. Props to Scott Joplin, an awesome ragtime musician who's birthday was also November 24th (1868) and to Zachary Taylor the 12th President of this country which I'm sure was much different when he was born in 1784. Props to my mom, because she is a really good mom and she likes it when my birthday is on a Monday since I was born on one, even though Mondays are super lame to everybody else.

There are some valid reasons why I didn't vote for President

2008-11-16T12:21:00.000-08:00

Today I watched the movie Terrorizing Dissent. It's a rough documentary by Twin Cities Indy Media and the Glass Bead Collective about the RNC 2008. There is a woman talking at the beginning and end of the first part of the movie (there are three parts) about why protesting is important.
I did not vote for Barak Obama as almost everyone that I know did. I did not vote for President at all. I did vote, though, for Senate and Judges and all of that other stuff. I battled with it for a while because I got a lot of shit every time I told someone that I didn't want to vote for him. I was told the lesser of two evils bullshit, he cares about the environment, idealism gets us nowhere, etc. I kept second guessing myself. However, after reading through Obama's decisions on various bills (such as that he supports the Patriot Act and the Death Penalty, two things I loathe) and hearing the woman in the movie say that voting for "Tweedle Dumb or Tweedle Dumber" does very little in comparison to sitting in a bus seat that you aren't allowed to sit in (Let me give a shout out to Rosa Parks really quick). And being reminded of a quote by Emma Goldman, one of the great women and anarchists of our time, "If voting changed anything, they'd make it illegal," I finally feel that my decision was the right one for me and I don't regreat it. I realize that much of this is a losing battle, but things don't happen overnight. I will try to do what I can to make things better while I'm here on this earth for a fraction of a second.
To quote the incomparable Bob Dylan, "Someday, everything is gonna be different, when I paint my masterpiece."

Please visit this website and watch this movie if you have any interest about what is going on in your country. Then, after you do that, please tell somebody else about it and have some sort of discussion. Do you hate it, love it, did it make you cry, are you apathetic? Fine, but please have an opinion. Opinions are the beginning of discussions and discussions are the beginnings of revolutions. http://www.terrorizingdissent.org/

In Germany, everyone knows you're a dog.

2008-10-30T17:15:00.000-07:00

I recently found out that Schwartz means Black in German. Fun factoid.

Another fun factoid- plane tickets to Alaska are only approximately $550 dollars. That isn't very much if you consider saving up for a year and a half.

Halloween is gonna blow this year for several reasons. This jack-o-lantern completely sums up how I feel, except for those nice leaves, and the Worth1000.com thing. I don't even have time to carve a pumpkin. It's easiest to blame America. So fuck you USA.

The More You Know

2008-09-29T14:20:00.000-07:00

Being the english grammar snob/nerd that I am, I find it very exciting when I learn new words. The word of the day is grangerize.

grang-er-ize: 1. To insert book's pictures into other book. 2. To take book's pictures for another book.

This is especially exciting for me as I spent about half of my time in high school doing exactly this. I have three completed grangerized books. Apparently the word is named for James Granger who wrote the Biographical History of England in the middle or late 1700s. He was obsessed with collecting portraits and other prints which filled a large part of his books. In his book, left several blank pages for people to add other pictures of illustrations of their own, which is an awesome concept.

I found this word because I was writing a paper (which I have stopped doing to write this blog) and wrote my professor's name (Gringauz) in the heading. It didn't recognize her name as a word and one of the suggestions was grangerize. It looked like a word of some importance. I'm going to try to use it as frequently as possible (but only in ways that make sense.) I'm guessing I will only be able to when referring to my lame-ass high school self. Basically, this is a cooler way to say "make an ugly scrap book."

Fall '08 mother fuckers

2008-09-15T16:48:00.000-07:00

Hello Campers. Well it's that time of year again when we grab our brand new Jansport backpacks and mechanical pencils and head on down to college in hopes that we may learn something beneficial to our lives. It's also the time of year where I write more stupid blogs like this one because I'm at a computer in a feeble attempt to do homework. At least homecoming is soon.

And Another Thing....

2008-09-02T16:27:00.000-07:00

I forgot to mention in my last post that the Food Not Bombs house in Minneapolis was raided a couple of days before the protest. I found some copies of the search warrant online and they all say pretty much the same thing which includes that possession of things such as twine, maps of downtown St. Paul, computers, media "in whatever form," etc are probable cause to arrest anyone there. I'm disgusted with the reality that the constitution does not, and has not for quite some time, applied to everyone. I'm disgusted that this is where our tax dollars are going. I'm disgusted that a child had to be exposed to this and that people who are trying to feed anyone who needs food in Minneapolis are being arrested and detained because they speak their mind. I feel powerless.

Did you know it takes more than 1 hour to bus to St. Paul?

2008-09-01T20:18:00.000-07:00

Today I marched from the Capitol in St. Paul to the Xcel Energy Center and back in protest of the Republican National Convention and all the hurtful and mindless shit that is represented by the Republican Party. I found it both uplifting and extremely depressing at the same time. On the one hand, thousands of people from all over the country (and world for that matter) were at the State Capitol to express their disgust for the current regime and demand many things such as equal rights, peace, freedom, justice, money for jobs and education, the ending of the occupation of Iraq, and so on. It was empowering to be a part of such a large group which remained almost entirely peaceful (those who were not peaceful, ie- throwing shit through the windows of a bank and Macy's, were not affiliated with the march. I also didn't witness any of it, which is fine because my eyes might still hurt from tear gas and whathaveyou).

On the other hand, I realized how desensitized I personally am and therefore how many other people must be also. I think about the occupation of Iraq occasionally. I get irritated frequently with the government, but it has been some time since I thought about it so hard that it brought me to tears. In reality, it is something to feel that emotional about, but everyone is so used to it that few do.

Today, and for the next week, at least, the Twin Cities is a mild police state. I was given a fright just by the dozens of police dressed in "riot gear" (Terminator costumes). To envision that little bit multiplied to a point of being bombed out of my home, makes me think that I have not been doing enough the past six years. I suppose I have the "next hundred years" to do something about it (McCain's proposed amount of time for US troops to spend in Iraq. Let me remind you that the man may not be around within 10 of those.)

Two days in one, what the fuck??//

2008-08-07T23:04:00.001-07:00

At about two o'clock I took a nap for a little more than two hours which made my day feel like it was split into two completely seperate days. Maybe life would be a lot more interesting and feel like I had a lot more going on if I did things this way constantly. The first part of my day was completely awful and I keep hoping it was just some sort of bad dream and that my car that I've had for four years isn't completely gone and my dad isn't terminally ill (along with my Grandpa, incidently, but I knew that before today). The second part of my day was much more enjoyable as I went for a nice walk while listening to Bob Dylan, ate a delicious dinner with two of my favorite people (and I didn't even have to pay for it, it pays to have friends with rich parents occassionally). Afterwards, I played with two little white kittens (who are deaf, you can sneak up on them) for 3 hours straight. It was amazing. When I got home afterwards, I promptly realized that it was all one big day and overall, I still feel like complete shit.

Here is a picture of Glen Campbell because I'm obsessed with that song, "Gentle On My Mind" right now. It's a really good song, check it out. Also, his pants in this photo are pretty nice.

Adulthood and the Art of Decision Making

2008-07-20T18:21:00.000-07:00

Within the next few months I have to make a decision whether I ought to move to Ashland, Wisconsin where it is beautiful and Lake Superior is at my fingertips all of the time along with ice caves and a national forest full of all things natural which would greatly add to my education of natural resources or to stay in Minneapolis where there is much to do with many people whom I love and I will spend exponentially less money which I don't have in the first place but can still get a really good education. I can't help but imagine that I will feel depressed in a town of 9000 white people with relatively similar lives. I also wonder if I will later feel that I sold myself short by staying. Here is some advice I have gotten on the subject:

"I think you should stay because I would miss you too much."

"Everyone should go away just to see what it's like."

"I will be paying off student loans until I'm 40. I wish I had gone somewhere cheaper."

"Do you think you'll regret it if you never try?"

"School doesn't matter, life matters. You should be where you're going to be the happiest."

I'm about 60/40 for staying/going. There are beautiful things about both places. I just need to figure out which beautiful things I am willing to sacrifice.

People take pictures of each other just to prove that they really existed.

2008-05-27T19:17:00.000-07:00

I would like it if all of us just took a moment to appreciate and reflect upon the glory that is Wyatt Earp's mustache. If you aren't familiar, Wyatt Earp was, among other things, one of the ledgendary gunman at the gunfight at the OK Corral in Tombstone, Arizona. He was deputy at the time, probably appointed so because of his SWEET MUSTACHE and cool demeanor. He also owned a pretty big gun and was allegedly a really good storyteller. If I could go back in time, I might like to be his concubine. His friend, Doc Holliday, is pretty impressive as well, but his mustache isn't as good and he died of consumption like the man that he is. His last words, as he drank a shot of whisky, were, "This is funny." (But seriously, are you checkin out this mustache right now?)

A culture war of this, our fair city of Minneapolis

2008-05-20T17:19:00.000-07:00

It is now the time of year where all those fair weather motherfuckers put on their Odwalla sponsored spandex bullshit and hit up the greenway to show of those rock hard calves. Welcome to Lake Calhoun, triatholonnlers. Get off your high horse because Lake Harriet ain't even a big deal.

William Schwartz is a good friend

2008-05-08T19:20:00.000-07:00

I have a friend named Willy. He is not less important than Weezie. He is good at painting and making up jokes. He likes soccer and pouring cold water down his chest. He does not like hunting, but he does like Mark's hunting hat.

What are they THINKING?!

2008-05-07T07:54:00.000-07:00

Biology lab is whack because it mostly involves drawing a bunch of DEAD ANIMALS. I don't really mind looking at dead hookworms, they aren't cuddly and I don't see them that often/ever so I don't feel very sensitive about it. A baby chicken in a jar of preservatives so that dumb college kids like me can stare at it makes me feel sort of ill and sad. I refused to draw the chicken and instead went home and googled pictures of cute animals and thought of Kate Farstad while doing it.

What a let down

2008-05-05T09:39:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I ate a mango. It was good, but mangoes are better when you share them with your best friend and their roommate's kitten.

HEY BOYS

2008-05-02T09:54:00.001-07:00

The secret about girls is that they want you to like them.

They want you to like them.

They want you to think they're cool.

We're gonna have a good time

2008-04-29T12:45:00.000-07:00

Today is Bumble Bear's Birthday. Welcome to the rest of your life, M.V.A. I hope to be in your life for a very long time so that any time I have a question about music I can call you and any time I want to laugh a lot or just be quiet with someone you will be around. Thanks for being the best Bumble Bear you can be.

Just some stuff I have thought about the past couple of days...

2008-04-21T16:13:00.000-07:00

I wish I was a little bit talla', I wish I was a balla'.

I was having a really good Jim Carrey kick this week. All through elementary school I would recite lines from his movies constantly. First I watched Ace Ventura, which was still awesome. Then Dumb and Dumber, which was even better. I wish I had a favorite part, but that whole movie is so good that I can't pick just one. I think I'm going to make "putting out the vibe" one of my regular activities from now on. Then I watched The Mask. Fuck that movie, it's a monstrosity. I fell asleep, I'm really bummed and the anticlimactic end to my Jim Carrey kick.

Fuck Adam, I'm going to be a copycat and get some cooler sunglasses because I'm sick of being called Shania Twain. Ok, so you've got some sweet sunglasses, that don't im-pressa-me much...

Oh shit, there is something going down in the computer lab at school. Some paramedics and security gaurds just came in, but I'm in the side part and I can't see what's going on beyond this wall. I think I should leave and if it's interesting, I'll blog more about it later.

About Today

2008-04-18T09:53:00.000-07:00

I have to go to camping class and work, but all I really want to do is listen to The Who and cuddle with a cat, I don't care which one.

This isn't a joke.

2008-04-15T18:39:00.000-07:00

My very favorite food is taco salad. If you asked me at any time if I was in the mood for it, I would say yes, which is what indicates that it's my favorite. I'm not always in the mood for spaghetti or vietnamese food, but always taco salad. The best thing about it is the freedom for creativity. You can use blue chips or yellow chips (not white though, that's stupid). You can use any variety of meat or meat substitute or beans (which come in several varieties, but black is the best). You can put vegetables, but you don't have to. The number of condiments one could use is almost exponential, but some sort of salsa or taco sauce is necessary. It's a shame that guac is so expensive, because it can make your taco salad even better. The only downside to taco salad is that when you mix it all around to get the most out of the flavors, it looks fucking terrible. It looks like regurgitated Taco Bell. If you try not to think about that though, taco salad is perfect. I have eaten it at least four times in the past two weeks.

ps- When I googled "ugly taco salad food" this picture about Helen Keller came up.

I Fucking Love You

2008-04-13T14:09:00.000-07:00

Weezie is one of the best cats ever. Here is a list of things that I like about her:

-She runs all crazy if you stare at her for too long.

-She toys with Alex's emotion's by sleeping in Hunter's room instead.

-When her and Hunter play with the lazzzzer pointer (only because he can make her do that crazy head thing.)

-She secretly sneaks up and cuddles with me while I'm sleeping.

-Her cute little meow.

-She has good taste in films.

-She likes mangoes.

-She gets upset if people are on the sunporch and she can't go with.

-When she kisses Alex on the nose.

-Her extra toes make it look like she's wearing mittens all the time. Nothing is cuter than a girl in mittens.
-She is a good listener.

-This picture of her, Kate, and Mark is really good. (She's photogenic, so are Mark and Kate).

-She will play with pretty much anything if you let her.

-She is SO CUTE.

-She only drinks from the faucet.

-She's open minded.

-She's a really fast runner.

-She likes everyone.

-She always wins arguements, but she isn't conceited about it.

-She likes that one blanket and if you cover up with it, she will probably cuddle with you.

Dear Weezers-

I'm sorry that I pushed you in the middle of the night when you were asleep on my chest. I didn't know it was you. You should call me soon so that we can hang out.

Where did they go?

2008-04-10T16:19:00.001-07:00

Remember Ace of Base? I sure do.

Ouch

2008-04-06T15:44:00.000-07:00

My feelings are hurt. I have a vague idea of why, although it isn't really important. Rain makes it worse. Maybe it's a little important, but I will try to let it go.

Musical Interlude

2008-04-05T15:04:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about music a lot today. One thing that I've thought a lot about is organ solos. After much listening and consideration I've decided that songs which have organ solos are best when they also have some crazy/rocking/awesome/fuck you in the face drums to go with. Firstly, Soul Sacrifice by Santana blows my mind every time I see footage of it. (I know some of ya'll like to hate on Woodstock, but Hunter knows what's up.) What better way to get a drummer for your band than to find some random fifteen year old kid who just happens to be awesome at drums. Let him do a really sweet drum solo and then follow it up with a sweet organ solo by a dude with some bellbottoms and an afro. What more could a girl ask for? The other song that made me realize the majesty that is the organ is Sound Is Compressed/Words Rebel and Hiss by Text (sweet Swedish side project, why is there only one album?!). There is so much going on in this song that to explain where my mind goes when I listen to the entire 11 minutes and 4 seconds of it would take a short book. All one really needs to know is, it is amazing and worth the 11 minutes of your time. What else would you be doing with that 11 minutes? Doubtful something as cool as listening to Text. Probably just eating some Topperstixs or cleaning your bathroom.

I have also started to borrow music from my 60 year old boss who is probably actually a 25 year old with a 60 year old disguise. Yesterday I put Challengers by The New Pornographers on my iPizzle. A worthy addition and hopefully some other good stuff will be soon to come.

Ed- I would like it if we got the mortgage paid off before we think about having children. The yorkshire terrier is really all we can afford right now, lets be logical here.

Two things

2008-04-04T16:10:00.000-07:00

Firstly, thanks Ed/Smack for everything you do.

Secondly:
Today I saw and was reminded of one of my favorite things. Yes, you guessed it, middle school bike gangs. Few things bring a bigger smile to my face than seven or eight 13 year old boys on bmx bikes riding around for no reason other than just to ride around and compare bikes. Occasionally one will do a trick, maybe I'm just not around them often enough to see the extent of their skills. This image is the best around this time of the year (early spring). You know that they've been waiting since October for nice enough weather. They are more grown up than last year, but not yet old enough to let go of the bike gang. My favorite thing about this is that there is always one kid that doesn't have a bmx bike. (If I were a guy, this would have been me). This kid has a nerdy ass mountain bike. You can just picture his way overprotective mother explaining, "Steven, those bikes aren't safe. And what do you want one for anyway? They don't look very comfortable." Poor Steven. He will be the last one of those guys to get laid. Fuck the Linden Hills one though, those kids are assholes.